Beautiful Girl with the Baseball Bat by ManderBetis is the sort of delicious craigslist-ad-as-story-prompt that gets a writer’s wheels turning. Dramatic situation…impressively unhinged Bella…no-self-control Edward…ill-advised disclosure of details in a public forum. How to build from here is wide open, which is fun to imagine. Will Edward get prosecuted for supplying misleading information to the police—or maybe felony assault? Or is love in the cards for the muscular (former?) cheater and the blonde in a BMW who is presumably about to be ensnared by Edward’s false testimony? And can Bella find more satisfying ways to channel this temper of hers, perhaps inspired by the way Edward’s mom-approved ass looks? There’s so much to mull over and nibble on here, it even stands on its own as a fun micro-story. Great job, ManderBetis, and great job, judges and voters!
1st Place Favorite One-shot Popular Vote: Keep the Tofurkey Bring on the Beer by MrsSpaceCowboy, won also 2nd Place VampiresHaveLaws' One-shot Choice. The Ad: 2nd Place Funniest Ad Popular Vote: Free Tofurkey and Beer! by MrsSpaceCowboy.
The Twilight of Craigslist Popular Vote First Place entry, Keep the Tofurkey, Bring on the Beer!, introduces us to a high-spirited, no nonsense Bella, who, along with her roomie, Heidi, gets shitfaced and posts a cheeky ad on Craigslist, asking for someone to pose as Bella’s boyfriend and accompany her to Forks for Thanksgiving. Of course, the story kicks into high gear when Edward replies to the post, and we soon find out these two already share a history, albeit a short and disastrous one.
Contest judge and brilliant author, VampsHaveLaws, had this to say about her Judge’s Selection: “I hadn't read something as funny as this in a long time. It literally had me laughing out loud... And not only was it funny, it had me smiling with its sweetness, too."
"My family is nuts. Are you absolutely sure you want to go to Forks?" she asks dubiously.
"Positive." God's honest truth. I would follow her (and her fantastic ass) to the ends of the earth and back, battling small children, perverted massage therapists, and crazy relatives along the way.
It’s no surprise this story also won the public vote for Funniest One-Shot. And yet, as VHL points out, amidst the comedic situations and the entertaining cast of secondary characters, we see the spark and the connection between Edward and Bella grow, and those heartwarming moments are what makes this gem by MrsSpaceCowboy much more than just a funny read.
1st Place One-shot Judges Vote: Lost and Found by albymangroves, won also 2nd Place Plummy's, Midsouthmama's and Nolebucgrl's One-shot Choice.
The Thing About Alby...
Her stories are so visual. So much so that even at this late date, when I have read and forgotten lots of other stories, I can recollect almost every moment she details. This is especially true of "Lost & Found," her winning entry in the Twilight of Craigslist Contest, which was my choice both for "Best Story" and "Most Romantic."
And the thing about her writing is, it’s so simple. Except it’s not. She draws such amazing word pictures that I feel I’m reading a memory, given just enough detail so that I can insert myself at one of the tables in the café, but not one smidgen more than any scene requires.
And there are cherries.
And knitted cardigans
And a mistaken identity.
And a nostalgia for something that never was.
And a hopeful, fretful man.
And a camera.
And a cat.
And phrases that linger in my mind, long after I’ve turned the page.
He smiles, and unexpectedly, it is heart clenching shyness that she sees, not the aloofness that she's used to sensing from him.
"...I would have told you that you have the most beautiful smile I have ever seen."
Suddenly, everything makes sense.
She gives him that smile, and he beams back at her, dazzling her with genuine happiness. Bella can't breathe.
"Why did you... I mean, how," she clears her throat, in an effort to clear her mind, too. "In the ad, you could have said it was you! Why didn't you?"
Edward studies the camera she now holds in her hand. "Because I'm a tool."
I want to say that reading "Lost & Found" was like watching a missing episode of Friends, but without any of the cloying bits. Excepting it's way better. It’s the kind of story that every one of us has probably imagined for ourselves when trying to hide our stare from the beautiful stranger across the room, or when we make appointments with ourselves to be at the same place at the same time, hoping that this time – this time – he might be for me.
Read "Lost & Found," and send Alby love, because she will make your day brighter and you will dream of cherries for the rest of the day.
(review by the contest Hosts)
* This ad is one of our AU entries. It has Bella interviewing for a job at a local Forks bookstore and running into a moody and emo Edward, the same guy she met for all of one day in high school before he disappeared.
* I loved this ad (and the one shot that followed it) for this spunky Bella not letting Edward give her any crap. I love how she doesn't fall over herself for his looks or take his strange behavior as a reflection on herself. This doesn't seem to be an insecure Bella. She puts all his weirdness on him and rightly so. What's more, I love a story that doesn't take "Twilight" so seriously. I think Badjujube gives us just enough of a fun teaser here to get us wanting a longer story with these two. I really do hope she continues it. I'd read it for sure!
Wanted: Abandoned Blue Barns - searching locations of barns; must meet specific criteria. Help me find her. (your city)
This entry in the Twilight of Craiglist AD Contest grabbed my attention because it is both specific and vague. The poster of the ad is looking for one thing: an abandoned barn, painted blue, built before 1960. He (I’m assuming it’s a man,) is trying to find a replica of the barn where he hung out with school friends. Interestingly he describes it in sensory rather than architectural terms, giving us a clue as to the emotional tenor of his quest.
“I need to find the kind of barn that is so old, the smell of rotting wood mixed with the sharpness of crisp fall air is the best thing you’ve ever smelled...”
The poster then describes in abstract what is obviously his personal experience of goofing around with a girl he’s been crushing on and then having it become more.
“And as if by some cosmic gift of the gods, she suddenly confessed that she liked you, too, so you spent the next five minutes of your life in complete and utter bliss because that first kiss with her was like magic.”
He tells us the number of years, months and days since this happened, and that the barn has since been demolished, but he doesn’t tell us why he needs to find a stand-in.
This is where the ad becomes vague. He mentions that he can’t lose her again, so we wonder what happened to make him lose her the first time. What will he do with the barn when he finds it? Will he take her there? Or just take pictures to show her? Time is a consideration - is she ill? About to marry someone else? My mind is full of questions like these, and with the details that are provided I find myself creating different scenarios depending on my mood. I, the reader, become an author!
Your comments about these stories and reviews are welcome!
